Good Stuff from Craig’s List

I’ve decided that I should finally come clean too. – m4w
It’s a time of new beginnings, and my sponsor has been encouraging me to make peace with everyone I may have hurt. I told him that I can’t contact you directly because your dad or brother would probably make an attempt on my life, so he suggested posting here instead. In hindsight it seems terribly unfair that I pushed you so hard to tell me the truth about what you did when I was harboring a secret myself. I hope you have it in your heart to forgive me.

It happened one of the last times I was at your apartment, a few days after we had a pretty big argument over something pretty silly. I think it may have been about female thighs. I was about to go home (you didn’t think it was appropriate for me to spend the night) and went to use the bathroom before I left. Being dry at the time, I didn’t exactly have all my faculties about me and had a strong suspicion that I would probably never see you again. I was right on that count. I still don’t know what compelled me to reach for the toothbrushes. They might have all been yours, but I suspect at least one belonged to your sister. Like a happy fool I stuck them all in my crotch and began firmly scrubbing; down each side of the family jewels and eventually up the canyon. Oddly enough, the entire time I was trying to remember which method of brushing dentists recommend most. I did the little circles. Regardless, what I did was entirely wrong and a result of very poor judgment. I recall with deep regret the spastic bursts of giggles that took hold of me on my way home that night as I ruminated how that was probably the closest your sister had been to a man in a long time. That was mean spirited. I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I just looked at the ADA guidelines. They recommend replacing brushes every three to four months, so you should be fine by now. But please know that I am very, very sorry.

Anyway, I hope the new year is treating you well. I’m still thinking of you.

Original Post