Netflix is Cocaine

So we’re watching movies like they just invented the DVD player and there is nothing else in the world to do – thus the title Netflix is Cocaine.  Again my plan was to write a review on each movie.  I had to play catch-up on eight movies at the end of April and now at the end of July I am playing catch-up on twelve.  I know I need to put the remote down and do what I planned but then again the multi-movie wrap-up is just easier and if you want an in-depth analysis there is no shortage of places to find those on the web.  Just like last time I am going to simply label the movies as the ones to see, the ones to consider, the ones to consider passing on and of course the ones to forget.  I know it may not influence your movie watching but if you pull one in the forget column and think it sucked don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Two to See
Adventureland and Gran Torino.  Adventureland was a really good surprise.  I only got it because Jesse Eisenberg of Zombieland was in it and I wondered what agent let their client be in two -land movies back to back. One that reads scripts I guess.  It was really good in a good 80′s movie way and was shot in the 80′s via time machine or something.  It was much better than expected and earns a “to see” designation on that merit alone.  Gran Torino?  It was as good as the critics said it was.  I was impressed and not just because I am afraid of Clint Eastwood and think he might kick my ass if I said anything bad about his movie.  A little sappy turn at the end but it didn’t take away from the overall story. “Get off my lawn!”

Two to Consider
Valkyrie and The Blind Side.  I didn’t want to see either one of these movies and neither one is great. Valkyrie was the better of the two but only because I was vaguely interested in the historical significance of what happened.  I assume The Blind Side paid Michael Oher enough money to retell his story with a moderate degree of creative license.  It wasn’t a bad movie just not one that deserved the high level of acclaim it received.  (So Sandra Bullock had a southern accent – she went to school at ECU is that really a stretch??)

Six to Consider Passing On
(500) Days of Summer, Smart People, Extract, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, X-Men Origins: Wolverine and Up in the Air. That list represents 614 minutes or over 10 hours of movies that you can easily ignore.  (500) Days of Summer is almost there but missing a few key pieces to get up to consideration level, Smart People needs a better script, Forgetting Sarah Marshall isn’t bad but Jason Segel exceeded the level of male genitalia that should be seen in any movie by TWICE, Wolverine wasn’t terrible but the plot was only a device to get you to the next action sequence and after a while you’ve seen all there is to offer in that realm, Up in the Air almost made it to the Consider list but really fell flat at the end.  Yes that is the longest run on sentence ever but after 10 hours of movies it is allowed.

Two to Forget
Where the Wild Things Are and Miss March.  Before you say it – yes – I know Where the Wild Things Are was not a kids movie.  I also know it sucked.  Spike Jonze must be in a race with George Lucas to completely F up my childhood memories.  This was loosely based on a book someone read to me as a child and was voiced by Tony Soprano.  Don’t get me wrong James Gandolfini is awesome – this was just the wrong part for this movie.  Miss March – horrible.  They only funny character was Horsedick.MPEG (I said .MPEG aka Craig Robinson – who is funny in everything) and the only funny scene was when the girl flew out of the back of the RV.  That last part may not be funny to anyone else but if I could find it on YouTube I would share it for the RV Crew because they would get it.

That’s all for now – we’ll keep watching movies like we are getting paid and occasionally do a write-up to tell you what to add to your queue and what to run from.