Why I should be the next Regis…

Regis Philbin is retiring from his morning show after 28 years.  I’ll confess that I’m at work most days and haven’t watched a complete episode of Live with Regis and whats-er-name ever but I would still like to take over for him when he leaves.  (Don’t ask about watching SportsCenter because that might be a different story for a different time. Slingbox rules!)

So I’ve started a short list to update my resume and get my name in the running for his position.  Feel free to help me add to this list because if I get that job I can promise I’ll do even more for the visitors of this site than if the people that say the world is ending May 21, 2011 were to give me all of their belongings to give away.  Which is still a good idea if you all are reading this and haven’t changed the date.

Reasons why I should be the next Regis…

1. I’ve kept the same job for 15 years so following in his footsteps of consistency shouldn’t be a problem.
2. I am mostly awake by 9AM and don’t mind just working an hour and calling it a day.
3. I can tolerate and even appear to like and work with otherwise annoying people.
4. Just like Regis I am mildly entertaining and mildly annoying at the same time. (And some might say slightly more self-aware.)
5. I don’t ask hard questions and I always politely pretend to listen.
6. I can shout short catchy phrases that may or may not be relevant at both appropriate and inappropriate times.
7. I am pretty good at complaining about things.  Even things I don’t personally have to deal with.
8. I’ve probably got a good 30 or so years in me to work.  If I started his job tomorrow and worked for as long as he has I’d still be more than a decade younger than he is today.

So there is my start – again feel free to add to the list and when I get my audition you can come and pretend to be my studio audience.  This could be the end of one great career and the beginning of another.

P.S. – That is a picture of Regis with a cat and well…  we already know Randy is ready for action.